Annie’s Mailbox, 30 May 2013:
Dear Annie: I am in my 20s and am engaged to a beautiful girl. Our religion prohibits sex before marriage. But when “Donna” tells me to stop kissing her, I persist. I don’t see why not. It’s just kissing. Donna says she has not been firm enough with me and when she says no, she means no. Yesterday, I was sitting next to Donna and started kissing her on the lips. She said no, and when I didn’t stop, she slapped my face. It felt like I had been stung by a bee. Donna told me she definitely had to slap me. My cousin said that in a dating situation, the woman sets the rules, and it is her prerogative to slap a man’s face if she feels he has gone too far. Do you agree? I don’t think she had to slap me. — John
Man oh man, if there is one thing you are it is a reasonable dude who has a really good understanding of personal boundaries, and if there’s one thing you aren’t, its about five millimeters away from certified rapist.
Donna should be more polite when declining your advances, otherwise how are you expected to know when to stop kissing her without her consent and expressly against her will after she has told you “no” multiple times? There’s nothing worse than someone who gets an attitude about being forced into non-consensual sexual activity.
The rudest possible thing a woman can do is try to physically escape from a man who is just trying to engage in some non-consensual sexual activity with her. Your cousin is right: it is a woman’s responsibility to stop a man, whose biological maleness leaves him no other choice, from physically violating her.
I am so, so sorry that you had to experience a stinging pain in your cheek, the worst thing that can ever happen to a man who has no intention of stopping non-consensual contact with a woman just because she says she doesn’t like or want said contact, as if she has some claim to her own bodily integrity, which we all know is ridiculous, because if she didn’t really want to be kissed, she would have fought harder. But not too hard. Politely.
Hayley Atwell (via fyeahlilbit2point0)
A chorus of angels just began singing….
I gotta just stop for a second and read this again and have a big dopey grin on my face because, goddamn, Marvel, you are doing it RIGHT. Ten years ago, no studio would have done SHIT for Peggy Carter post-movie, but Marvel’s going, “What’s that? You liked her lots and thought she was interesting? Here, HAVE A TINY MOVIE.”
Plus, you seem to be continuing making efforts to diversify your casting by bringing in characters like Sam, and bringing back Heimdall and Rhodey (in the biggest role he’s had in an Iron Man film with 3), and you’re courting Zoe Saldana for Guardians and continue to take original character back stories that have a bit of a sexist tinge to them now (a bunch of your females were models or actresses or nurses, and Betty Ross was just the general’s daughter) and making them scientists (Sue, Betty, Jane, and Jean Gray) while still keeping some characters with their original back stories (Mary Jane is still an actress) because you seem to get that women can have ALL KINDS OF CAREERS.
You not only handed Pepper Potts Stark Enterprises, but you never, ever played the “the business is failing and Pepper is blamed” card. In fact, you have always played, “Pepper is fucking awesome at business and life card.”
You also cast Sitwell with a Latino actor without making some big thing of it (same as you cast Hemidall), and you went with Ult!Fury and Samuel L. Jackson and every time you’ve put a woman in a dangerous situation, she’s gotten to save herself in one way or another (and sometimes just straight up completely).
You all don’t always bat 1000, but you seem to be aiming for it like crazy, and I really appreciate the hell out of that.
I have no gifs to properly express this emotion.